Monthly Archives: August 2015

How To Become More Independent – Part Two

Become assertive

Becoming assertive is a powerful way to improve your life and boost your self-esteem, which in turn helps you become autonomous. Assertiveness is a skill you can practice. It means setting healthy boundaries, learning how to say no and being clear about your needs and feelings. Basically, it means respecting yourself and respecting others.

Start making your own decisions

One way to ease into making your own decisions is by determining how you’d like to spend your day. Ask yourself: “What do I want to do?” Consider your personal passions and hobbies.

Meet your needs

People in codependent relationships are great at meeting others’ needs but usually ignore their own. Everyone has a range of needs, such as emotional, social, physical and spiritual needs. Identify your needs and discover ways to meet them. For instance, if you notice you’re feeling lonely, respond to that need by reaching out and planning dinner with a close friend.

Learn to soothe yourself

Give yourself permission to acknowledge and feel your feelings. Instead of thinking, “’I shouldn’t feel this way’” or ignoring your feelings, be a good parent to yourself and comfort yourself. Take time to figure out what calms and supports you and makes you happy.

Again, becoming more autonomous means living by “your own internal guidance system,” rather than external systems. And it’s key to fulfillment. “We can never feel fulfilled by following someone else’s dreams: independent living is the only way to find true satisfaction,” Judd said.

How To Become More Independent – Part One

Most of us live in a state of codependence, be it with our parents, friends or social groups. We’re satisfied with our lives and are afraid to step out of our comfort zone and start a journey which can help us become more independent. Becoming an independent individual won’t happen overnight – it’s a difficult process that demands time and patience.

Get to know yourself

Becoming more independent and achieving your goals won’t happen if you don’t know who you are. In order to know yourself you have to question all of your actions every day. “Did I speak my truth?” Did you say yes to something you really hated doing? Or did you say no to something you’re dying to try out? All these questions can help you get know who you really are.

Challenge everything you believe in

Think about different perspectives – our opinions are often so habitual that we don’t even see that there might be a different perspective. Our perspectives are so often shaped by our environment and people around us that we can easily not notice how wrong they are. That’s why you should constantly challenge your beliefs and assumptions, because without change there can be no evolution.

Positive Side Of Negativity

All people agree that positive thinking can be the main “culprit” for some extraordinary results. Although the power of positive thinking is quite undeniable, being negative also has good sides, although it may sound strange.

Failure is not an option

Being negative about all things that could go wrong while we’re doing something can help us understand any obstacles we may run into on our path. Negative concepts and ideas should not be repressed by positive ones. Life is not all about good things, and we must be able to understand that. Finding out what could go wrong is crucial for finding the right solutions for these unfortunate events.

Negative results are good sometimes

Just like negative and unpleasant emotions, negative results in life can sometimes “shake us up” and make us think about where we are and where we want to be. Experiencing disappointment caused by a bad result can strengthen our focus and make us more willing to work harder and to try to do our best.

How To Stay Positive – Part Two

• Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill

If you’re stressed or you’re going too fast, it can be easy to lose perspective. In that situation, a molehill can become a big and terrifying mountain in your mind. You should follow these three steps in order to get you back on track – you have to say stop to your mind, breathe with your belly focusing just on inhaling and exhaling for a couple of minutes and then try to refocus. Question your mountain building thoughts by talking to someone close to you and getting a more grounded perspective.

• Don’t let fears run your life

Sometimes you may want to take a chance in life. Start a new habit that feels unfamiliar, your own business on the side etc. A common trap when you want to do one of those things is to get lost in vague fears about what could happen if you actually took action. The biggest mistake you could possibly make in this situation is to think about all those things that could go wrong or to think about the worst case scenario. Learn to step out of you comfort zone and take a chance!